Monday, October 19, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Check out everything that no one else did on MckMama!

I do NOT have a shirt that my husband now refers to as "The Pee Shirt." Nope. That's not normal at all and my family is all about normal! *sigh* Here's what happened: On Tuesday my 21 month old son got into a Motherhood Maternity bag and took out a red shirt and the receipt. He placed both into the downstairs toilet. Okay, he's 21 months old, I'll forgive him. He got a stern "No!" and we went on with our day (okay, that's not exactly true, we went on with our day about 10 minutes later when he finished his pity party for me telling him no). I washed and dried the shirt, but I failed to put it away. Forward to the next day: My 4 year old son walked into the laundry room and picked up a shirt seemingly at random then threw it in the downstairs toilet. Guess what shirt? Yup, the red Motherhood Maternity shirt. He got a time out for his troubles. I called my husband at work because this story was too unrealistic to be true and instead of sympathy that I now had to wash my brand new shirt for the second time before I had ever warn it, I got hysterical laughter. He claims I was overreacting because of pregnancy hormones. Not me! I never overreact to anything! Oh, still not finished, I wore said shirt on Thursday or Friday (can't remember, that is the pregnancy hormones!) and he REFUSED to hug me when he got home from work and said "Eww, that's "The Pee Shirt," I can't hug you when you're wearing that!"

I did not allow my husband to send the kids to their beds for naptime about 10 minutes early yesterday because he didn't want to share his Mac & Cheese with them! Nope! We would NEVER deprive our children of that delicious process cheese pasta. Not us! (Oh, he CLAIMS it's because he wanted to watch the football game, but we all know the REAL reason, right?)

I did NOT threaten to kick my OB-GYN in the head today! Not Me! When he walked into the examination room today and saw that my chart said the ultrasound showed another boy, he immediately asked me if I was ready to break the 11 pound mark! I then said if he mentioned anything evil like that again I would kick him in the head! I guess I should explain that an 11 pound child is a complete possibility for me. Both of my boys were induced 1 week early (still a normal delivery, but pitocined up!) and my oldest was 9 lbs 4 oz and my younger was 10 lbs 4 oz. So, he deserved the threat!

My husband did NOT send me back to bed to take a nap with the boys after we got their picture taken on Saturday saying that it was for the betterment of the world that I sleep. He somehow thought that poor, innocent, perfect little me was in a bad mood and he forced me to go back to bed. He actually even let me sleep longer than the boys by about 1 1/2 hours! (I must have been in a REALLY bad mood!) Not me! I'm never in a bad mood! I am motherhood and wifehood perfection!

I did not have to FORCE myself to stay awake to watch Bones on Thursday. It's an 8 o'clock show! I'm not anywhere near THAT old! Not me!

I think that's all I'm going to allow you to read this week. I'll just keep the shaving cream incident, the toothpaste AGAIN incident and my unfounded irrational fear of the sewer and a specific toilet while I'm wearing a certain red shirt to myself this week! I don't need anyone calling child services on me! :)

Be sure to come back to my site on Thursday and join us in our Thankful Thursdays! It's kind like Not Me! Monday, but when you're finished you're a lot less embarrassed!